This really isn’t going to be a “mom” post so much. Although, it is directly affected by my being a mom and it’s been bugging the hell out of me.
Family dynamic explanation time as something has been bothering the hell out of me and it keeps on getting worse as more things come to light.
My parents had three kids. My sister is the oldest, ,my brother the awkward middle child, and I was the “oops” years after my brother. We were close as much as we could be considering our age differences. My sister would take me to do all these fun things that my parents didn’t want to do and would let me sleep at her place when she moved out. We are each other’s sounding boards when it comes to the rest of our family.
Before we moved out, my brother and I fought continuously over the typical things that siblings fought over. Now, please keep in mind that in this instance the fighting would be full-fledged. I was a feisty tomboy who thought she could take on anyone including my much heavier, elder brother. My poor mother when she tried to separate us… He moved out long before I did but when I did move out, he let me move in with him for minimal rent – in a sixth floor condo. My parents voiced their concern that the window panes would shatter too easily and one of us would be thrown out by the other. It didn’t happen. Honestly, we got along extraordinarily well.
All three of us (until the last few weeks) live in the same city.
E is getting close to the 3 month mark and neither of my siblings have met her.
I am not on speaking terms with my brother. His number has been blocked on my phone for well over a year. Sadly, this still leaves him access to my voicemail where he told me during my pregnancy to put my unborn child up for adoption…among other colourful messages. I’m not going to get into it but, needless to say, I do not want E to meet him. Ever. Not talking to him and not allowing him near my daughter is a tough decision but a necessary one.
That’s one sibling accounted for and I’ll take the hit on that one.
Things are a little bit more complicated with my sister. She was with her common-law husband for a long time – I barely remember the time before he was in the picture. Due to circumstances, they never got married or had children. He passed away a few years ago. It was difficult telling her I was pregnant and she didn’t take the news very well.
I haven’t seen her since Christmas.
She’s told my parents she doesn’t want to participate in family festivities this Christmas.
It’s not like she hasn’t had the opportunity to visit me. She’s visited my parents (who live five minutes away driving) at least three times since E was born and she drives right past my place on her way home.
Seeing E just isn’t something she wants to do
We still talk regularly but I don’t want to broach the subject. She really wanted/wants kids and having her baby sister have a baby before she does was a big blow to her and it’s not something I want to force on her. My mom tried once and the end result was not pretty. Although, to be fair, my mom lacks anything even resembling tact and my parents are more upset about my sister’s behaviour than I am…which may or may not bode well for me.
But still….dlfrlktirejtrgnkldrwejtgpjtl;akje;lkjrol;tr COME ON! This is ridiculous.
So, yeah. I have two siblings who may never meet their niece /rant
Look, Ma! No Hands! 